**I am starting to do better in my adjustment process of emerging from my prayer closet to minister the initiation of outpouring of the endtime move. What is so challenging to me is a “certain level of not seeing or knowing” how to differentiate my personal relationship with Jesus Christ with my public ministry of outpouring of God’s Spirit. This is my conundrum. Because though an inaccurate sense, I know, it “feels like” a territorial violation of my personal relationship with Jesus Christ to open my heart to pour out the Spirit in manifest power.
You see, I “don’t see the line’ there due to this being the power of my personal salvation and my personal prayer closet relationship with Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, God the Father in manifest glory and power of Heaven. And that’s why I “balk”. I feel violated… just because I cannot identify the boundary lines between personal and public. Neither can I really between personal and marriage bond with a husband. All is personal to me in Christ hidden in my heart… and I have this “reflex” of great upset that I am being violated in my personal relationship with Jesus Christ… by sharing in manifest presence and power what is to me my personal relationship with God in Christ in manifest glory power of personal fellowship and communion with God in Christ.
There just is no way possible I can “be okay” with that feeling violated.
However, what I learn by doing is that the boundary line becomes increasingly clear to me so that I calm down and am alright with it… as I walk it out… and kind of “find my sea legs” this way.
It’s all I can do.
Walk it out… and get that wrong/inaccurate feeling and reflex cleared.
Then I am fine.
So long as I do not feel violated personally, I will open my heart and pour out the Spirit and let the bonds form in these ways.
I am very sensitive… and in my heart… is full miracle working power… in manifest glory and fire power.
I am walking out the process of adjustment so it feels “okay” to me.
I just cannot distinguish between spiritual boundary lines of personal anointing in personal relationship with Jesus in my spirit bonds by the Spirit with Him, marital anointing in marital relationship with a husband in spirit bonds of the Spirit in Christ, and ministerial anointing in ministry to the body in spirit bonds by the Spirit as fellow members of the same body.
I cannot distinguish very much the “lines” that make this okay… because it all mostly feels “personal” to me between me and Jesus alone… so that I reflexively feel violated in my personal relationship with Jesus, shut down and push back… and it is birthing pains to me.
But it is clearing more and more.
Only by practice and walking out can I find this “line” to distinguish and separate personal with marital and ministerial anointings… so I don’t feel violated in my personal relationship with Jesus by being married or ministering outpouring publicly.
Cuz I have been in a prayer closet for 50 years separated unto the Lord in preparation.
And it is an adjustment to me.
And my relationship with God in Christ is at the highest level power of manifest glory fellowship with God there is… and that is what my heart is moving to open to release now to the body.
So, it’s painful.
It’s automatic though.
And it doesn’t hurt as much.
But I have to walk it out.
So those glory strands will release from my heart… instead of me feeling violated so that I hold back and deny access to my heart.
In public ministry, I cannot be “rushed”.
I will walk out my comfort level.
Jesus will arise in me and the Spirit will pour out to heal all at meetings.
It would be painful for ppl to push me or rush me.
I will walk out with the Holy Spirit to adjust and find that boundary line and comfort zone at my own pace with Him.
God bless you!